Friday, January 31, 2014


Hey guys. This is a very personal post but... I need help.

Being a new mom has been, well, lonely. Really lonely.

Yes, I have my precious baby boy to play with all day but it's not like he can talk to me, really listen to me, or play with me. It's hard when it's so one sided alllll day.

And it's boring. The most exciting things in my life (other than the cute things Ander is constantly doing and the couple hours of rehearsal I have each week) are finally finding something good to watch on Netflix, finally seeing Brandon's car come in the driveway, or getting an Amazon package in the mail.

It's always been easy for me to make friends and form connections with people. I've always had a best friend. It's weird to not have one. Yes, I have close friends and I love them dearly. But I don't have that one person that I can call for anything, that person who lives down the road who I can hang out with all the time while Brandon is at work, or on the weekends to go have fun girly dates. I don't have that person who will listen to me, whose hair I can play with while we watch movies, someone to give me advice or share stories with. And it sucks.

Just because I have a kid doesn't mean I can't have a best friend, right? How do I make that happen? It's hard because I really like my ward but I haven't made a connection with anyone here. We were in nursery for a long time and then, I had a baby and was released. As wonderful as Ander is, he makes it tough to socialize at church. I've wanted to become friends with certain ladies but then they moved, or are planning to move. Our ward is VERY transient. That's what you get when your ward is all town-homes, condos, and apartments. I have friends in Provo but it's 25 minutes away and Ander needs to stay close to home during the day so he can take naps. It's a dilemma.

I jokingly told Brandon I was gonna post something like "Attention! Now accepting applications for the long vacant position of... my best friend. Anyone can apply but Lehi residents preferred. Will train." on craigslist. Ha ha. But seriously.

I don't know what to do with myself a lot of the time. After I work out and my chores are done, I just kind of sit there. While Ander sleeps I read books, facebook way more than I should, journal, look for new recipes and watch meaningless baking shows on Netflix. It's depressing.

I need mommy friendly ideas of how I can serve others, how I can make the world a better place so that I feel fulfilled and needed. And, I need ideas on how to find, as Anne Shirley would say, a kindred spirit.


Thanks for listening.

~Jessie Kay

Hello 2014!

 Happy belated New Year. :) 2013 was a such a great year, it will be hard to beat! In recap:
  • We moved into our own place in Lehi
  • Brandon officially graduated
  • Brandon got a sweet job at Property Solutions
  • We went to Ireland and Scotland with Brandon's family
  • I survived pregnancy and had Ander
  • We went to Hawaii to celebrate my mom's 50th
  • Brandon went to India for 3 weeks for work

This month: We got to see our old friends Scott and Stephanie from AZ when they came to Utah for Steph's baby shower. It was the first time our trio (me, Amanda, and Steph) were reunited in like 5 years! Now we all have babies! Okay well not yet, but Steph's due in April!

 We said to goodbye to Rachel for EIGHTEEN MONTHS as she headed to the MTC to prepare for her mission in Seoul, Korea! She is going to be an amazing missionary. I miss her already!

 On MLK day, Brandon, Chase, and I went to Nickel City. We scored TONS of tickets and somehow only ended up with 10 Airheads and a dumdum. HAHA! Isn't that how it goes?

I'm dancing with Wasatch Contemporary Dance Company again. YAY! It's been sooo much fun and it feels so good to get out and DANCE! Our show is at the end of June. This is a shot from our company photo shoot last week.

5 Months

Five months have come and gone so quickly! Ander has changed a ton this month. I'd say the biggest change is that he is discovering all the sounds his voice can make. My, does he have a voice! He goes from deep grunts to belly laughs to high pitched squeals and squeaks. Ha ha. He makes Brandon and I laugh every day. He also has been making "naa" and "mah" sounds which is pretty dang adorable. Some other new developments:
  •  "Stranger Danger". He knows who his parents are and gets scared when anyone else holds or even looks at him. Ha ha. I hope this one passes soon, although it is certainly endearing.
  • He has a lot more hand control. He can reach out and grab things and bring them to his mouth. He holds things in both hands and really concentrates on them. He loves to touch my face with both hands when I get close to him. It's so sweet!
  • DROOL. He is drooling more than ever. Ew.
  • He can be left alone to play by himself for longer periods. He got a play chair for Christmas and will usually spend 15-20 playing in it. He also is more comfortable in his swing. He even stayed in it for over an hour watching Baby Einstein the other day! Win!
  • He loves tasting new things. He hasn't eaten solids yet but I've let him suck on a few things (and maybe given him a taste of ice cream. haha. I blame Grandpa McCloskey). He seems to love food. That's my boy! I can't wait to let him eat solids next month! We've attempted rice cereal twice but he prefers to wear it rather than eat it.
  • He's a big boy, already wearing 9 month clothes. I was shocked to realize he had NO 9 month clothes in his closet. lol. We had to go on a major shopping spree at Kohls. I'm not complaing. :P
  • He is losing his beautiful dark brown locks! Well, either that or his head is growing and his hair isn't. Probably a little of both. Either way, it's sad! He's balding! ha ha.
  • He can go slightly longer between meals now, about 3.5 hours instead of 3.
  • He is still sleeping sporadically. Some nights he does awesome. Others, not so much. Luckily I've discovered he's not necessarily hungry every time he wakes up so I've been able to take advantage of Brandon who is good to go cuddle him and put him back to sleep.

     Grandma McCloskey got this warm bear suit for Ander because its been soooo cold. I love it!

    Believe it or not, Ander took this himself. Ha ha. He loves to play with my phone and he accidentally hit the picture button. #firstselfie

    Uncle Quinn got Ander this R2D2 outfit! haha. AWESOME!

    Ander loves to lay on his side and talk to dad/play with his face. haha. It's so cute.

     I'm trying to convince him that he likes his Johnny Jump Up. Ha ha. He does for about 5 minutes. ;)

     This little dude has skills. ;) It's been fun watching him discover his feet lately.

     Check out them thighs! haha.

     If he can touch it, he must taste it. Ha ha.

     And of course, there's the ever present tongue. :)

    Happy Five Months Baby Boy!